Joannie. Here.

Yeah, You Kinda Do Smell

[Background] Our VP installed an (anonymous) suggestion box and said that we can tell her about anything, even if we just wanna say that one of our co-workers needs to use some deodorant.
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Steve: {stands up and looks at me] So, should I be worried that [our VP] is going to come over and tell me that I need some deodorant?
Me: You know, I was thinking about putting that in the box.
Steve: I was thinking, we should get a group of people together and all put that suggestion in for 1 person and see what happens.
Me: Too bad Mike's not here anymore, or that'd be perfect!
Steve: I was thinking [co-worker's name]
Me: Oh! That'd be great. Except no one sits around him right now.
Steve: That's the beauty of it. He'd be like "who the hell wrote to [our VP] about this?"

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Confusing People by Mailing Them Fruit.

[Backstory] I was reading on MLIA on how you could mail a banana. Since Mr. Greg has so foolishly kept what his "thing" was for 20 questions for over a month and a half (it turned out the "thing" was "Puerto Rico"), it was time to enact some revenge on him. So... I addressed and stamped a banana and... in the morning I stopped by a blue mail drop-box and "discretely" placed it into the box (while a policeman was looking the other way). The next day, Mr. Greg received the banana in the mail... [Photo @ www.twitpic.com/pyb3n]
...
Greg: lol...
Me: ?
Greg: http://twitter.com/highmountain/statuses/5818131223
Me: ...
: wow only like 84 cents!
: 83?
: how much is a first class stamp?
Greg: 44?
Me: wow 85 cents
: random
[Greg is smart to guess me, he knows I enjoy reading MLIA]
Greg: did you mail me?
Me: huh?
Greg: out of payback for puerto rico?
Me: omg i'm still mad about that
: gaaah
: if i said no, would you be disappointed?
Greg: yeah
Me: oh.
: sad.
Me: ... why do you even suspect me?
: i don't think i have a propensity for sending fruit in the mail.

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French Bulldog pup, I love you. (via )

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“ I recently started dating a guy with the last name “Black.” Today, my little sister jokingly commented that we should name our kid “Jacob” in honor of Twilight. Silly sister, his name will be “Sirius.” MLIA

—

#1379515 | MyLifeIsAverage

Awesome!

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“ Today while I was walking back to my house, I saw a squirrel dragging a full pancake across the street. After a few minutes of struggling, he finally managed to get it up the tree. Well done squirrel. MLIA.

— #1244711 | MyLifeIsAverage

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“ Two days ago, on Halloween, I opened the door to some trick-or-treaters. They were dressed as Dumbledore, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Snape. They started making a ticking noise and proceeded to sing from the Mysterious Ticking noise. At the end, they all shouted “Boom” in unison and fell over. Another kid dressed like Voldemort came and finished the song. I gave them all of the candy I had. MLIA.

—

MLIA

Would anyone else like to dress up as a Potter Puppet Pal?

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Greg does poetry. It's so deep I could drown in it!

[A random spurt of rhyming from Mr. Greg...]
Greg: l8te
: i already 8te
: do you believe in f8te
: if we meet, don't make me w8te
: yo playa why you gotta h8te
: imma go to noodle bar and eat some seared sk8te
: it came packed in a cr8te
: them imma go r8te it on yelp
: i be like, "yo that shit was hella str8ght"
: ok gotta run, i have a d8te!
: with this chick named K8te
me: who could potentially be your m8te.
Greg: I dun wanna be l8te
: but maybe before I meet her I should masterb8te?
me: hm. cuz the sex might not be so gr8te?
Greg: yup
: feel free to publish this in your book o rhymes

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Am I really that much of a glutton?

[From an email chain between myself and a co-worker]
me: Free Cookie Alert: The Street Sweets Truck will be parked in front of the Time Life Building (on 50th btw. 6+7th) from now until 6pm, and from 12:20 to 2pm they'll be handing out free samples of two of their cookies. Freeloaders engage.
Steph: Joanna...you rock. Thanks!! :)
me: You can see them from the window… I already checked…:)
Steph: Wide-eyed and face pressed up against the glass?
me: Hm, good idea. I’ll do that around 12:20 when it opens to freeloading!
Steph: Please, we both know you’ll already be downstairs by then

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Dr. Horrible on the Emmys

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When RooCougar Comes Out To Play...!

Roo: i might like strip scrabble
: with the right person
Me: OMG
: who are you
: what have you done with roobear!?
: (although this is a great convo)
Roo: I DONT KNOW WHAT I HAVE DONE WITH ROOBEAR I AM ROOCOUGAR
Me: OH
: MY
: GOD

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